A Little of My Life

Some Random Thoughts for your Entertainment...

#1- I am SOOO sick and tired of wearing a bra! Where did this come from you might ask? Well....it's been 5 months and 2 days of bra wearing. The only place to get to get some relief is in the shower. I love breastfeeding, and have no plans to stop anytime soon, but come on! Can't my milk just come in on demand instead of whenever and wherever it pleases? Bed is the worst...it's so uncomfortable. There was one time that I tried to sleep without it, and well was woken up about 2 hours later in a warm sticky pool. Grrr....guess that comes with being the moose juice supplier.

#2-Postpartum Blues. They really suck. I got hit with them pretty hard for a while. Am totally fine now, but here's what bothers me. After having a baby and coming home, the local heath nurses come to your house, makes sure baby is eating well and gaining weight, check up on you ect. Frankly I didn't like it at all. They can be pretty forceful and I wanted to tell them to leave me alone and get out of my house. Of course I didn't....I sat there and answered all their questions with a smile on my face! When Babe was born, I had no problem getting him to latch on or anything. Every time one of the nurses came into my hospital room while I was feeding, and saw that I was not doing what is called the "football hold", they would get irritated and tell me I was doing it wrong. See, the "football hold" did NOT work well for me and Babe so I said screw it to that. Didn't seem to matter that we were doing well, and he was eating! All that mattered was that I WASN'T doing it there way! This continued with the Health Nurses as well. So after a couple of weeks, the visits stop and the phone calls begin. They do this questionnaire thing with you to see if you are having the "Blues" or not. Well, like I admitted before, I was pretty blue. They ask questions such as......

"Do you find you are crying at everything?"

"Yes...I seem to be extra emotional"(for those who know me, know that I am emotional to start with, so really, me crying at everything is really not that much of a surprise)


"Do you want to harm yourself in anyway?"

"Huh? I just had a baby and love him to pieces! I said I cry a lot, so now you think I want to harm myself? NO I don't want to harm myself!!"

"Do you ever have thoughts of harming your child?"

"You can't be serious!! Of COURSE NOT"

And so the questions went. Now don't get me wrong, maybe there are mothers out there that would have those thoughts, but during my "blues" times all that would make me happy was holding my babe...I couldn't have him close enough. So to end this thought, and to let you know where it came from, I just got the so called 'last checking up' phone call and this is what the nurse said...

"Now Alisha, are you absolutely sure that you are not having any thoughts about harming your baby?"

"NO. I am NOT and I NEVER have."

This is what I was thinking
"I am having thoughts of harming YOU right now!"

Really though, the way she keeps saying it makes me feel like she wants me to say, "yes, I want to harm my baby...please come take him away so I don't and then you can be a hero for saving this wee little one" I would have said this to her, but she is a mother of a friend, so I didn't think that would go over to well!


Well, I feel better now that I was able to rant about that! Babe is awake and wanting some food. There is more thoughts brewing in my head, so be prepared for more!
Yes...yet another picture of the Babe! I just can't help myself! :)